Can i not drive my cunt home
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
