When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
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