Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
