You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
