A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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