Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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