Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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