Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
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I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
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I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize