More tranny stories later!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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