Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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