Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
