We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
