This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
