she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
