the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
