So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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