I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
