names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
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what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
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So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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