listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Welp...herpes.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
