school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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