So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
