I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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