I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
