you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
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so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
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2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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