So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
His hands were made for my vagina.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
