Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
