Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Mom said you looked used
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
