Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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