Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
