ya dads aren't the best wingmen
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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