Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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