worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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