R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My dick has a subreddit
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
