But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
What a dumb baby whore.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You ruined the universe
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
