Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
