Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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