Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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