thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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