my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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