Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
