I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize