No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
