I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I want to be your penis for a week.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
