Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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