They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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