Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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