Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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