I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
