either way he was missing a nipple.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This is my gift to your gina
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
