I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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