dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
