so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
is that a dick in a sweater?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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