No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
