Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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