You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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