So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
