just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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