went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
