i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
