What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
