Will you blow on my dice?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
