whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize