If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
