if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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