We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
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Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
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I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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